On a Lighter Note

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This is your place to have fun. We have collected funny quotes, jokes, satirical comics and games to make you laugh at, with or about democracy.

Provided by Mail and Guardian

Provided by AZM

It is error alone which needs the support of government. Truth can stand by itself.

- Thomas Jefferson

Knowledge will forever govern ignorance; and a people who mean to be their own governors must arm themselves with the power which knowledge gives.

- James Madison

The oppressed are allowed once every few years to decide which particular representatives of the oppressing class are to represent and repress them.

- Karl Marx

Government, even in its best state, is but a necessary evil; in its worst state, an intolerable one.

- Thomas Paine

The instant formal government is abolished, society begins to act. A general association takes place, and common interest produces common security.

- Thomas Paine

For in reason, all government without the consent of the governed is the very definition of slavery.

- Jonathan Swift

The genius of our ruling class is that it has kept a majority of the people from ever questioning the inequity of a system where most people drudge along, paying heavy taxes for which they get nothing in return.

- Gore Vidal

Government is not reason; it is not eloquent; it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master.

- George Washington

You don't pay taxes - they take taxes.

- Chris Rock

Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.

- H. L. Mencken

The government solution to a problem is usually as bad as the problem.

- Milton Friedman

The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.

- Winston Churchill

The worst thing in this world, next to anarchy, is government.

- Henry Ward Beecher

Democracy is the recurrent suspicion that more than half of the people are right more than half of the time.

- E.B. White (provided by Basic Jokes)

Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive.

- C.S. Lewis (priovided by Wisdom Quotes)

All free peoples appear glorious to themselves; but national pride does not manifest itself among all in the same manner.

- Alexis De Tocqueville (provided by The Economist)

Freedom is hammered out on the anvil of discussion, dissent, and debate.

- Hubert Humphrey (provided by idebate)

As I would not be a slave, so I would not be a master. This expresses my idea of democracy.

- Abraham Lincoln (provided by Think Exist)

Politics & Cows

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

MILITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair “Cowgate”.

BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows..

ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly - listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother - in - law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the fung shiu is bad.

ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.

TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

COUNTER CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like… these two cows, man. You got to have some of this milk.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. One has actually read the constitution, believes in it, and has some really good ideas about government. The cow runs for office, and while most people agree that the cow is the best candidate, nobody except the other cow votes for her because they think it would be “throwing their vote away.”

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

This joke is provided by The Humor Archives

DemGames

A collection of fun games, which are challenging and free to play on the internet.

Of interest:

• Captain Campaign is a really fun and easy to play game, which trains you in campaigning and you see immediate results. At the end of the game there is a list of resources that can help you run your own political campaign.

The Democracy Project

An interactive site for children, with fun games and activities that teaches you about voting, being President and the importance of government. The games are centered around the United States but are not irrelevant for other users.

DEMOCRACY

Democracy starts with you as President (or Prime-Minister) of a modern country. The country is a run as a simple democracy where you need to get over 50% of the vote each election in order to remain in power. The object of the game is to stay in power as long as possible (there are no limits as to how many terms you may be elected president).The game also has a number of 'events' which affect your country, such as labour disputes, political protests, diplomatic incidents etc. And there are also 'dilemmas' which force you (as elected head of state) to make a tough decision. Dilemmas might also include proposed laws, which interest groups are lobbying for. Who you side with will influence who supports you at the next election. (1)

(1) OBS: This game is not available for free.